Tomorrow I fly. Literally of course gentle reader. I am flying to visit family and friends to celebrate the life of a 95 some odd year old giant of life, my Grandmother. She recently passed away and now we gather in celebration of the person that she was and the legacy she has left.
I used to say that God broke the mold when he made Grandma. From my experience of her, there was nothing that she put her mind to do that she could not accomplish. She was diligent in her independence, living on the farm until just last August. If Larry the Cableguy's claim to fame is "Getter done"; then Grandma was the person who inspired that phrase. She was the model of invincible can-do. Rumor has it she could take an engine down to the block and reassemble it. In fact, she told me I had better learn that before I got a driver's license. (Unfortunately it is not one of my accomplishments.)
Grandma was also a person who spoke her mind. As a matter of fact, I think that the concept of tact left a long time ago. Or maybe with family,tact is just beating around the bush; and family love deserves unwavering honesty. Proverbs 27: 6 says "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." I think that Grandma truly took that to heart. The last time I visited Grandma, I brought with me a picture of my husband and myself at the Church picnic. My hair was white which is its God given color at this time in my life. Grandma asked who that old woman was in the picture. When I told her it was me, she said, "Oh honey, you have got to keep a color in your hair!" I think my husband is still cheering at that comment.
What I remember most about the farm and going to visit Grandma and Grandpa, was the feeling of peace. From the gentle tick tocks of many clocks to the chirping of crickets and cadydids, it was one of the few places in my life where I slept with the lights off and without a radio going to keep away the monsters. It is only in the last few months of her life that I learned that Grandma faced monsters too, at the hands of Altzheimers. Even so she persevered.
When I saw Grandma a few months ago, I was blessed to witness such a gentle love between my mother and my grandmother. We walked into Grandma's room. Tears were streaming down her face because she yearned for my Mom to come. Mom gently held her, caressing her face, wiping away each tear. Mom put Grandma's face on (applying her makeup). Then walked Grandma out to the car and took her for a ride, remembering to stop at the Dairy Queen for some ice-cream. I don't know many people who have the intestinal fortitude to take someone on an excursion from a health facility, my Mom does because my Grandma did.
In sitting down to write this I realize that no mold was broken. Grandma's qualities of perseverance, honesty, and tangible love are not unique to her. Instead, they are her legacy. They are gifts that she has given each one of us for having known and loved her. So here is to a life well lived. Thank you God for my Grandma.
Well, another year has come and gone gentle reader. It has been an interesting roller coaster ride. So I have been thinking of what I should give myself for my birthday. These are the things I have come up with so far.
I am back gentle reader and none the worse for wear except for a couple of moments where I felt myself on the high-wire with no balancing rod. The difficulty lies in old tapes playing over and over again in my head. Feeling once more like I have to perform above and beyond my capacity just to be seen as worthy. Being born into a family of creative geniuses is difficult, even if maybe you might have a little genius yourself. I try to figure out the rules and abide by them, but then the rules change and I don't have the flexibility to change with them. Have you heard that song in your life? "Be better, be stronger, be more, be different" It always translates to me as be anyone other than you, because you aren't up to par. I am sure that I sing the song to myself, but I wonder where I learned the tune.
