I am back gentle reader and none the worse for wear except for a couple of moments where I felt myself on the high-wire with no balancing rod. The difficulty lies in old tapes playing over and over again in my head. Feeling once more like I have to perform above and beyond my capacity just to be seen as worthy. Being born into a family of creative geniuses is difficult, even if maybe you might have a little genius yourself. I try to figure out the rules and abide by them, but then the rules change and I don't have the flexibility to change with them. Have you heard that song in your life? "Be better, be stronger, be more, be different" It always translates to me as be anyone other than you, because you aren't up to par. I am sure that I sing the song to myself, but I wonder where I learned the tune.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
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I am back gentle reader and none the worse for wear except for a couple of moments where I felt myself on the high-wire with no balancing rod. The difficulty lies in old tapes playing over and over again in my head. Feeling once more like I have to perform above and beyond my capacity just to be seen as worthy. Being born into a family of creative geniuses is difficult, even if maybe you might have a little genius yourself. I try to figure out the rules and abide by them, but then the rules change and I don't have the flexibility to change with them. Have you heard that song in your life? "Be better, be stronger, be more, be different" It always translates to me as be anyone other than you, because you aren't up to par. I am sure that I sing the song to myself, but I wonder where I learned the tune.
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I know that song, the "You must feel that you have to achieve above and beyond simply to be worthy." I know it well. I als know the "be anyone but who you are" tune.
ReplyDeleteI am working fiercely to teach myself a new song. "Don't go changin' ..." or something like that... you know love yourself etc. and so on.
Today, I was out of tune, but I shall continue this quest.
I really enjoyed visiting with you.